On My Heart: My Heart.

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Ba-boom, Ba-boom, Ba-boom

My heart.

My heart!

boomboomboomboomboomboomboomboomboomboomboom

Something was wrong with my heart.  It was not just speeding, it was going berzerk. 

pounding so hard, so fast, I thought it might just stop. 

STOP. 

It lasted 3-4 minutes, and then all of a sudden...

a jolt.

Ba-boom, Ba-boom, ba-boom....back to normal.

This happened to me on Wednesday morning. I was just going about my business and it just starting going. This is actually the second time it has happened.  The first time was about 6 months ago, still pregnant with peewee, I called my OB thinking it was pregnancy related. He said not to worry, but if it happened again to go to the E.R.  It didn't happen again- until Wednesday.

Source: Pinterest

I hate going to the doctor for nothing, but since the heart is kind of a big deal- I figured I better get it checked out. So yesterday I went to the Cardiologist. After describing my "episodes" the doctor was fairly certain that I have something called

Supraventricular Tachycardia.

In supraventricular tachycardia, the heart rate is sped up by an abnormal electrical impulse starting in the atria.
The heart beats so fast that the heart muscle cannot relax between contractions. When the chambers don't relax, they cannot contract strongly or fill with enough blood to satisfy the body's needs.

The Dr. explained to me that it is not life threatening, but she of course wanted to do some tests to rule out anything else that may be.  Sooo- I had an EKG, then the nurse hooked me up to a fancy little/not little heart monitor that I have to wear for 24 hrs.  It has 5 chords, all affixed to different spots on my chest, and one very large pager looking thing I that I've had hooked to my pants all day [cerca 1998, 143-637 haha].  

I then went down to the lab to have blood work done.  It was crowded, and I sat waiting for quite a while.

Not life threatening.  

I texted my husband. Somehow just typing those words brought a whole flood of emotions. I could feel the lump in my throat and my eyes fill with tears.  My mind was flooded with fearful thoughts...What if these tests show there is something else wrong with my heart? What if I have a serious condition. My Babies. Life is so fragile. So fleeting. What if I die. 

Randomly, I had grabbed my little journal to take with me.  This was the Lord, because I never take it anywhere.  It is for my morning quiet time to jot down notes, thoughts, prayers, and it is filled with some of my favorite verses.  I just sat and flipped through reading verse after verse.  I was struck by how many of them had the word heart in them.  I felt like I was given a little mini word-study right then and there in the middle of the LabCore waiting room. Others just gave me the peace and reassurance that I needed in that moment. It was a really precious few minutes.

Source: generalvalentine.com via Grace on Pinterest

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

Prov. 17:22

"Listen closely to my words, do not let them out of your sight. Keep them within your heart, for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body."

Prov. 4:20-22

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Eph. 2:10

"But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them that those who love your name  may rejoice in you. For surely O Lord you bless the righteous, you surround them with your favor, as with a shield"

Ps. 5:11-12 [My mom used to pray those verses to us every morning when we would be leaving for school. It is dear to my heart because of that!]

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Phil. 1:6

"But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me."

Ps. 13:5

It went on and on. Verse after verse reminded me of God's great love for me, his peace that surpasses all understanding, and the joy that comes from rejoicing in Him and His salvation.

Fear and anxiety are from the enemy, peace and joy are from the Lord.  I really believe all these tests will come back fine [I still have to have an ecocardiogram next Friday] but in the meantime, it was a reminder of how fragile and brief our lives can be. We are not promised our health, we are not promised tomorrow, but we are promised salvation and abundant life in Him! 

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."

Deut. 6:5

liking up with Casey here

Run the Race

I love exercising.  A year ago I was going to the gym 4-5 times a week.  Kickboxing is my favorite, but I also like the Strength Endurance Training (SET) and Core Central classes too.  I found out I was preggo with Claire Bear exactly a year ago, and I kept working out until I was 8 weeks and I experienced some pain during TKB.  My plans of being 9 months preggo and still doing it went out the window.  It wasn't worth the risk.  I'm sure I could have done some low impact cardio or at least walked on the treadmill...but the truth is- I didn't. So for the next 10 months I of course was not sedentary...anyone with 1-2 year old knows you don't do a lot of sitting around, but I really didn't do any exercise to speak of.

Now Claire is 4 months old and summer is basically upon us [even though the weather hasn't really gotten the memo yet] and I'm ready to be back in shape. The only problem? I've been working out for 2 months and honestly- I'm stuck.  I'm just not losing this darn weight.  So what's the deal?

I have a couple of guesses.

The past 6 months there has been a lot of stuff going on in our family, and stress is never good for the waist line {or any part of you} It is actually pretty toxic.  [It also may or may not cause you to consume copious amounts of dessert comfort food].

I also may just have a sweet tooth that doesn't quit- and a husband who loves it just as much. We eat very healthy the rest of the time, but dessert is kind of a weakness of mine [and his- and I like being a sweet wife that bakes chocolate chip cookies for my guy when they sound good to him].  We are making a concerted effort to not eat sweets for a month. I've been doing pretty well...I'm finding half the battle is fought at the grocery store.

This is also my 2nd baby and C-section - so I suppose I shouldn't have assumed it would have been as easy "getting back" as it was the first time around.

So heres what I'm doing about it (and a couple tips if you are trying to get in shape too):

I'm kickboxing. YAY. I love TKB, and it literally torches the calories! I'm trying to go 3 times a week. The days I don't kickbox, I'm doing Insanity.  Have you heard of it? Its another Beachbody production like P90X, but its mostly cardio, plyo, and core training. It is a little insane.  I'm usually tired after the first 15 minutes.  It's good though because I don't have to have a babysitter and I can do it whenever I have a spare 45 minutes :-) *update* I did Jazzercise this morning with my sister...don't laugh. It's actually a really good workout. I left there dripping sweat.  I just might add it to the rotation :-)

I'm really trying to not eat dessert. A couple of tips? Like I said- the battle is really fought in the grocery store. If you don't buy it, its not available in that moment of weakness after dinner when the kids are asleep and you are relaxing with a good book {or three- more on that later}.  If I don't have it in the house, I don't eat it. Want another tip? Go grocery shopping after you just ate.  If I'm hungry when I'm shopping, I'm more likely to buy things that aren't healthy just because they sound good.

I'm setting goals.  I like having a chart and tracking my progress. Its encouraging, and it also helps keep me motivated.  We have a family vacation planned for the end of July, so that is my goal time-frame.

Here's a bonus tip: drink water!!! I love lemon water, so I'm drinking a lot of it! Especially after dinner. Somehow the lemon kind of takes away the sweet tooth! Oh and if I'm done with my lemon water- I brush my teeth right away! That also deters me from eating anything I shouldn't.

Regarding your health & weight, and really all areas of life, it really comes down to your choices.  Life is about choices. You can make good ones; choices that ultimately please the Lord, and subsequently you are blessed because of it; or you can choose to live your life according to your own will.  That road does not lead to blessing, it leads to destruction. We are called to take care of our bodies, for they are the temple of the Lord.  I want to be healthy and feel strong, physically and spiritually, and I want to please the Lord with my life and my choices.

I can't help but think of the analogy of our spiritual lives being a race we must run- with endurance and perseverance.  Just like exercising, we have to be disciplined and work at our relationship with the Lord.  If we do nothing, nothing will happen.  We won't be growing in our faith.  If we do not take time to have silence and prayer time, we won't hear His voice. If I never exercise or purpose to eat healthy food, I won't reach my goal.  What are you doing to exercise in your spiritual life today? Are you "feeding" your spirit with things that will draw you closer to the Lord?

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Hebrews 12:1-3

linking up with Katie here 

A Word from the Mister: Reconciliation

I was re-reading this devotional that my husband wrote for Christmas (you don't mind a little Christmas in the Springtime right?) and it was such a good reminder of our purpose and God's love for us. Sean is so intelligent, spirit-filled, and such a constant encouragement to me, I thought it would be nice to share it here so it could also encourage others. I was happy he agreed to let me post it :-) He has such a deep love for the Lord, I am constantly learning from him and encouraged to seek the Lord even more. I'm so blessed to have him as my Mister :-) I'm hoping he will be a regular part of the Bradford Road Blog!

As we celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus by giving gifts to each other, we commemorate a tradition started by God the Father when He gave us the gift of His Son Jesus. His gift is the means through which we are reconciled to God. So let’s consider, what is the significance of reconciliation? Why does it matter that we are allowed back into the presence of God? 

Jesus said, “No one is good but One, that is, God” Luke 18:19. 

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The key to understanding why being in His presence is of such great importance lies in an understanding of what is good. Goodness is a relative concept. It has a spectrum much like temperature. We use descriptors such as hot and cold to explain our relative experience with energy but notably, there is no such thing as hot or cold. When we use these descriptors we are simply expressing to what degree energy is present or absent. In the same way, there is no such thing as good or evil. These simply describe the presence or absence of God. 

Just as water freezes when energy is absent and vaporizes when it is abundantly present, the degree to which God is present or absent in our lives has a direct effect on our condition. When He is absent, people will lie, cheat, steal, and do other deplorable things. They will be miserable, unfulfilled, and unsatisfied. This is a law of nature just as there is a law that makes water freeze at 32 degrees. Nothing will change that. Without God, we have nothing that is good.

But with God, our condition takes a different state. When He is present in our lives, goodness fills our hearts and satisfies our soul. Not only does it bless us but His goodness overflows from our lives into the lives of others, blessing them as well. This is why having reconciliation is of such infinite importance. With God, we can again have goodness. We can again have life. And not just life as measured by a pulse but life to the fullest. 

Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it MORE abundantly!” (John 10:10).

In this context one can understand the Psalmist who says, “In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Ps. 16:11). And again, “For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere” (Ps. 84:10).

Therefore, to the degree that we seek to have goodness in our hearts and in the hearts of those around us, let us pursue the presence of the Lord. “He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him” (Heb 11:6). This is a promise. If vapor is the most energized form of water, how blessed would we be if we were filled with the spiritual equivalent! 

So as we meditate on the tremendous gift of reconciliation, lets take inventory of the level of ‘goodness’ in our lives, thank the Lord for it, then pursue His presence all the more.

linking up with Casey here